Tuesday, 29 September 2009

An evening with three Shane MacGowans

It's the South Stand at the Community Stadium, and the occasion is Colchester United v Charlton Athletic, a match I couldn't lose as they are two of my favourite teams. The match kicks off and Charlton are looking impressive. After ten minutes the three empty seats next to me are filled by a guy, with his uncle and his nephew. They were all drunk, smelled of booze and sweat, and spoke in two languages; English and Profane. The family had crooked and missing teeth, and clothes that looked worse than the old ones I use for decorating. They all looked, smelled and sounded like Shane MacGowan. I have no doubt they were pleased to be sitting next to a pompous snob like me.

Colchester looked outclassed by second place Charlton, but their effort and persistence paid off as Charlton were pressured into an own goal. Could Colchester hold on? Yes, they scored two more and kept a clean sheet, so a good evening's work ending in a 3-0 victory in front of over 7,000. It was a very inspiring performance by the Colchester underdogs.

But what did the three Shane MacGowans make of it? Well they too were very enthused by the team's efforts, spurring them along with their liberal use of the F-word, sprinkling their sentences with the vigour that I shake salt over fish and chips. However, to their credit they didn't make a single racist or sexist comment, although they did suggest that the referees may have poor eyesight linked with self abuse, and that their parents were unmarried.

An evening of top entertainment on the pitch and in the stands. And Shane Two next to me, had a cough so bad that it could only be relieved by a couple more cigarettes.

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